309 We all know people who chose a mate with qualities that they lacked?an outgoing person married an introvert, a quiet person married a chatterbox. But temperament doesn't change easily. Whether a partner expects the other to give her peace or pizzazz, these unconscious emotional contracts are usually broken. It's the breakdown of this marital quid pro quo?the promise that wasn't delivered?that creates the sense of betrayal and rage at the heart of many high-conflict couples. This workshop will show how helping couples become aware of their initial, unspoken contract can help them give up holding each other responsible for their own emotional regulation. Via videotaped sessions and brief case consultations, participants will learn a variety of specific interventions, including family-of-origin work and techniques for mutual soothing, to help couples move toward true intimacy.