Anger in relationships often occurs when one partner feels devalued by something the other says or does, or doesn't say or do. It gives the aggrieved partner a sense of power, but ultimately results in an even greater loss of self-worth, since it puts the partner in the position of demeaning or devaluing someone he or she loves. Even when they're throwing their weight around, most people don't want resentful obedience from loved ones--they want openhearted cooperation and the feeling that they're valued. In this workshop, we'll discuss the function of anger, active or passive aggression, and control. We'll explore an approach that helps clients use their deepest values as a vehicle for change, and hold onto their sense of value even in the midst of arguments, so they can negotiate differences without putting each other down.